Gifts from Heaven

Maggie, Eric's youngest sister, stopped by for a few hours today. She needed help getting a job application put into a required form called application manager. She'd already submitted the application and we had faxed some thirty pages of accolades, awards, letters of outstanding merit, etc., etc., etc. But, that was not enough. To consider the application, the entire thing had to be retyped and submitted in PDF format through this application manager thing. I didn't know how to do it. Thankfully, Eric is skilled at computer things and was able to help her complete it in the proper form.

As much as I dread the possibility of her moving to Texas, I want her to get the job. Love requires allowing people to leave and pursue their best lives. But, I will miss her terribly.

While she was here, I fixed a sort of late Christmas or early New Year's dinner. I cooked the Paula Deen turkey breast which was truly excellent. I made some yams, dressing, green beans, gravy and cracked open a jar of olives. I served turtle cheesecake for dessert, but everyone was too full to eat it. I packed up turkey, dressing, gravy, prime rib and half the cheesecake and sent it home with her. Hopefully, her teenage boys will help eat it. Otherwise, she's going to be eating a lot of cold leftovers for lunch at work.

While he was here, my son dropped by for a couple of hours with his two young sons. They are in town from Texas for a very short period of time. I refer to 2 year old Ephram and almost 5 month old Gideon as Gifts from Heaven (pictured above). I clearly remember being quite spent physically and emotionally after giving birth to my son in a military hospital in 1967. Literally, immediately after his birth I voiced my hopes and dreams to become a grandmother at a very young age. My son was born when I had just turned 21 and I calculated that I could easily become a grandmother in my early 40's. Grandchildren have always been my fondest dream!

Ephram was born a month and a half after I turned 59 about 20 years after I had hoped for him. Then, Gideon arrived shortly before my 61st birthday. I had just about given up hope for grandchildren. I adore them both beyond all reason.

As much as I love the children, in truth they do not know me. They live in Texas. I visited shortly after each child was born and I visited when Ephram was only about 6 months old. I only get one week of vacation a year. They were home last Christmas and I got to see them at the home of my former husband's mother-in-law. Today was the first time the children have been to our home.

I call and talk with my son every week usually, but Ephram is not very good yet with the phone. He's two, he was very tired, his routine has been disrupted by the trip, and he was in a new strange place. He'd not gotten to bed until midnight last night and then awakened at 5 am this morning. Gideon, of course, doesn't mind being in a new strange place as long as he is held constantly (and I was more than willing to hold him). I was overwhelmingly pleased that my son was able to bring the children by even if for a short time. Hopefully, I'll be able to schedule a little time off and fly to Texas in the near future.

I am concerned that the children will grow up without them even having a real awareness of who we are and how dearly they are loved. But, today was a start. Hopefully, the next time they visit the Midwest they will be able to visit again.

Eric suggested that each time I send them a gift, I also send a snapshot so they will have some idea of we are. I hate the idea of pairing images of us to material goods.

The saddest aspect of this Christmas season is that my former husband and Diane are in Mexico and did not get to see the children at all. Of course, the trip to Mexico was planned long before my son even knew that he would get three days off to visit home. Getting the time off was a last minute thing which was cut short by demands of the hospital that he be back and on duty New Years Eve. What I do know is that it will be genuinely tragic for those children if they are cheated out of truly knowing their grandparents. Bonding requires that we spend time with them and they need for us to spend time with them.