ROUTINE ENDOCRINOLOGY APPOINTMENT

Every four months, I have a regularly scheduled appointment with my endocrinologist who has been attempting to treat my diabetes. I have other doctors also. Dr. Brown is attempting to manage my high blood pressure so that I don't have a stroke before the cardiovascular surgeon (Dr. Allen) can get the insurance company to approve him removing the clots from my carotids and before my high blood pressure completely fries my kidneys (treated by Dr. Rothstein). They are good doctors, I like them all, but there sure are a lot of them and there sure is a lot of medicine.

I have finally caught on that I should never darken the door of any one of their offices without having in my hot sweaty hands all the labs all the others completed, a complete list and dosage of all the medicines I'm on, and all my twice daily blood pressure readings, and my twice daily sugar levels.

Today, the bottom line was my blood pressure is still much too high which puts my kidneys in further danger of simply quitting and puts me at greater risk of a stroke sooner than later. Additionally, my sugar level is out of whack (big time). I've been keeping a record of every bite of food that enters my mouth so I not only had the readings to show him, but the food diary. He increased my Glipizide and added a small does of long acting insulin to my before bed routine. So, we'll see if this helps.

When you have these problems, there are only two options. First, you can give up and die. It's not quick or painless. And, they usually cut your feet off before you die. Right now, my feet are good. The other option, is to keep trying: 1) do the food diary every day, measure and weigh all food; 2) stick your finger no less than twice a day/record the data and fax it to the doctor; 3) take your blood pressure no less than twice a day/record the data and fax it to the doctor. You just keep on trying and keep on keeping on. Rather, than willingly giving in and sacrificing your feet, your kidneys, your brain to a stroke--the second option seems the best of nothing but bad choices. It's not fun.

New Driver's License

Recently received a post card that said my license was expiring on 10/5/2009. We renew them every six years in Missouri. Six years ago, I had forgotten to get it renewed and let it expire. So, I had to take the written exam and go for a ride with a policeman. Pain in the butt!!!! So, when I got the card, I gathered up all the documentation they require and headed to the license place with my zip lock plastic bag. After 2001, Missouri decided that no one would have a MO license who was not a "legal", who was a terrorist, etc.

So, we are required to show up with a minimum of an official birth certificate with a raised stamp to prove we were born in the USA and an official social security card. I have a SSN, but the card disappeared many years ago. It was the cheapest of cardboard and I obtained it when I was 16. I'm now 63. I have no idea how to get a new one, but I'm sure getting a new one involves standing in line no less than 7 to 12 weeks.

Lacking an official social security card, you must know your SSN # (I do) and have at least one of the following:

1) most recent bank statement with your home address on it (to prove you live here).
2) most recent voter registration to prove you live here.
3) most recent pay check stub with your home address on it to prove you live here.
4) most recent utility bill to prove you live here.
5) it goes on and on and all of it has to do with proving you live here.

I had an entire zip lock plastic bag of "documents" proving I live here. I also had my most receent statement from social security telling me how much I will get a month if I they don't run out of money & I live long enough to collect any of it.

So, I sat sweating buckets with my heart pounding in my chest on a bench waiting for hours. Finally, it was my turn. I approached with trepidation. Would I have enough documentation to prove that I was not "illegal" and was not a terrorist. Would they accept me as a real American.

It went smoothly and I was awarded a renewed license. I'll be nearly 70, if I live that long, before I have to go through this again.

I guess those folks don't watch the news or read the papers. Florida just picked up 8 or 9 guys who were born in the USA, look remarkably like me, and have all the right papers. Yet, they had stockpiled all sorts of ammunition, weapons, diagrams, plans, etc. and had firm plans to strike American assets in foreign countries. State employees need to dig a littler deeper and spend less time terrorizing regular ordinary folks just trying to earn a living and obey the laws.

By the way, the picture alone is enough to shorten my life by several years.

NEW MULCH

I love the smell of new mulch in the morning.

Bob and his son are out back spreading new mulch all over and around my Spring bulbs. Hopefully, this will help keep a few of the weeds down. Pulling and trimming those weeds is a never ending and back breaking job. Quite overwhelming to saw the least. The bulbs bloomed beautifully this spring. It was a sea of tulips, daylilies, and Easter lilies this Spring. What's left blooming now are 4 Rose of Sharon--two snow white and two pinky lavender--quite beautiful.

Bob obtained a truckload of mulch for free from the city. The city collects yard waste, grinds it into mulch/compost and then gives it to residents if they have a truck. Eric has a truck (a very FANCY) truck. He does not haul mulch or anything else dirty in it. So, Bob obtained the mulch in his truck and hauled it over here. He and his son are spreading it.

I really am pleased that I found and hired Bob. We had been paying a huge amount of money to a company for maintaining the lawn. Their work was utterly dreadful. Thy were lazy, stupid & greedy. I fired them and hired Bob. His work is very good. Further, he is able to think. If he has knowledge of something that will solve a problem, he offers that knowledge/idea.

It's incredibly hot today. The heat index is nearly 105 degrees. It's hot hard work they are doing out back. It's too hot even for the dogs to be outside. Last time, it was this hot and we let Savvy Jo out------she had heat stroke and we spent the night with her in the Emergency VET hospital. So, hopefully, the guys will be OK.

The mulch looks wonderful--neat, tidy. And, it smells wonderful. I love the smell of fresh, new mulch in the morning.

THE SUN WAS NOT YET AWAKE

It was the wee hours of Wednesday morning. The sun was still sleeping. Eric and I awoke to repeated high pitched squeals and yelps coming from the back yard. Dakota was going to awake the entire neighborhood and someone was going to call the police on us. We were all still trying to sleep.

Eric went to the sliding glass door and attempted to "talk Dakota down". I know there is no talking Dakota down so I went to the basement and out the French doors. (The dogs have a door through which they can enter and leave the house at will. The back yard is double fenced. There is a 5 foot high chain link fence and then about 10 feet farther out from that is an 8 foot solid privacy fence. The idea is that they have to get over, under or through two solid fences to escape. So, we feel relatively safe in allowing them free entrance to the back yard. The fencing also makes it more difficult for strangers to enter.)

It's nearly 3 am and I'm in my nightgown attempting to grab the collar of a nearly 100 pound yellow "wolf dog". She's jumping, dancing, lunging, salivating, showing her teeth, squealing and yelping at something she believes is under the picnic table. I managed to get her into the house and lock her in. I went back out to see if there was something under the picnic table or if she was hallucinating again.

It was a terrified opossum. I'd never seen an opossum close up. My goodness, they are not one of God's most attractive creatures. This poor fellow was utterly convinced that a violent, savage attack was going to end his life soon. He was backed up against the foundation of the house under and behind the picnic table. Their faces look remarkably like a rat with a long snout. His snout was stretched open wide and he was emitting loud continuous hisses. Eric who knows more about opossums than I do assures me that they engage in that open mouthed hissing behavior right before they fall over and pretend to be dead. I felt terribly sorry for him. He was so incredibly frightened and even the ugly and the stupid do not deserve to suffer that type of fear.

I went in the house hoping that he would be able to make his way out of the yard. We still don't know how he got in although at my old job I did see an opossum trapped on a 15 foot high electrified fence topped with razor wire. I did not want to be forced to call animal control to remove him. As I went back in the house, Dakota is still jumping, dancing, lunging and emitting shrill yelps and squeals. Turns out, she was as afraid of the opossum as he was of her. An ugly stranger had intruded into her private enclave and oh my goodness, it might have entered the house through her door. I managed to get her quieted down although by the time I had her calm all three of the other dogs were up and shaking off their dreams.

HOMELESS SHELTER

I called a homeless shelter this morning and asked them if they were serving meals Thanksgiving Day. In the past, they have. The lady said they were. I asked if they needed any help this year--money, donations, etc. The lady assured me they needed help. She said with the economy the way it is that they are full up with families and children every night and that she's sure they will have a full house for Thanksgiving. I also happen to know from watching the news that any number of young war veterans (who live on the street) get their supper there every night. She asked what I would like to do.

I told her my entire family lives out of state except my partner and he works all day every Thanksgiving so I was free for the day. She asked if I knew how to cook a turkey. Is there anybody in the world who does not know how to cook a turkey? Apparently there are, but the problem the homeless shelter faces is a huge guest list and not enough stoves to go around. They have food and people who donate money. They don't have the equipment to cook huge meals on site. Long story short, I know how to cook. And boy, do I have the stove to cook it on. I think it was just last spring that I invested in that super duper amazing stove we have sitting in the kitchen. I'm cooking a Thanksgiving dinner and hauling it to the homeless shelter. They can put the stuff on the table with the rest of the donated dinners and serve it.

It will give me something productive to do on Thanksgiving Day. I have always loved cooking traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I'm a relatively good cook. And, there are probably some hungry folks who will appreciate the food. I'll be home in time to whip something up for Eric and me that evening. He doesn't like traditional Thanksgiving food and he'll be delighted not to be faced with turkey and dressing with all the fixings. Seems a far better use for the day than just dreading it because Eric's working, my sister and her family are in Florida, and my children and grandchildren are in Texas.

I don't get to have the holiday that I loved and remember from childhood. So, I'll create a new kind of holiday------not the same, but it may be better in the long run.

GOD WORKED YET ONE MORE MIRACLE

AMERICA HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MIRACLE.

Last night God worked yet one more miracle in His history of miracles. Barack Obama is President Elect-----an American who happens to be half white and half black. I never thought I would live to see this day, but I lived to see this day!!!!

John McCain began to redeem himself last night. The man who loved this country in his youth began to show himself again. Hopefully, the man who loved his country in his youth will come back full stage and distance himself from what he became when he lost himself in his blind ambition to become President.

Now, we must focus on driving Palin from Alaskan politics and making sure she never rises again. We don't want to drive Palin back to Alaska---she'll kill all the wolves and polar bears. She needs to be driven completely from politics--everywhere.

I VOTED

This morning, I drove to my polling place (the middle school behind our house) and eventually found a parking place. It was crowed. I parked my car and had to sit in the car a few moments to collect myself. I was crying and I knew I could not walk into the school filled with long lines of prospective voters crying. I've voted in every election I was eligible to vote in since I got the right to vote. Nothing new there. I've never been moved to tears at the polling place. Every vote has counted, but no vote has ever mattered like this vote matters.

THIS VOTE MATTERS!!!

It is long past time for this country to beginning healing. It is long past time for diplomacy to once again be front and center in international relations. It is long overdue for this country to take its rightful place again with the other great countries who lead this world. It's time for healing, strength, intellect, character, guidance, compassion, ethics and morality.

As I sat in my car this morning trying to gain control of my emotions, I realized that there are people who live in history and for history. I knew also that there were other people who lived on the seconds right before history is made--before it's ever spoken, written, or taught. I realized I'm one of those people who lives on the seconds right before history is made--always have been.

Today, as the votes are being cast, are the seconds before history is made. Tomorrow it will be over.

Today is the moment! We lived it.

I lived it alone with my tears, but I lived it!