PAROLE VIOLATIONS

While I was in Texas, I communicated with Catherine and she told me she had seven cases for me upon my return. The boxes of data were waiting when I got home. I was pleased to see the boxes because it's always nice to have work.

As I went through the information, I was surprised to see that none of them were new cases. They were all parole violators. Thankfully, only one was someone I had let out on parole. All the rest were cases other professionals had let out on parole. Then, I got an eighth case a few days later and it was another one I'd let out on parole.

The interesting thing was that none of these men met statutory criteria when they were evaluated previously. And, they all committed the same parole violation. When sex offenders are on parole they have an automatic restriction about internet access. All of these men, violated their parole by performing autoerotic activities in the nude in front on a web cam and then sending those videos by cell phone to underage females. When parents complained to different police agencies scattered hither and yon, the parolees then sent the same autoerotic images to a variety of policemen posing as underage females. These female children and complaining parents were in a variety of states as far away as Florida and Texas. Some of the police were in states as far away as Florida and Texas.

I'm so technologically illiterate and computer illiterate, I didn't even know that one could send video by cell phone that had been made in front of a web cam. Truth is that although my phone takes pictures, I can't take good pictures and can't figure out how to get the pictures into my computer. I also can't figure out text messaging. I'm not sure if my phone takes video. When Ann was so sick and in the hospital, her oldest daughter would sometimes text me. I always had to have Eric figure out how to get to the "text message" and read it to me. I just use my phone primarily for business purposes and I only talk to people like Catherine, my boss, parole officers, assistant attorney generals, etc. Sex offenders must be a lot smarter than me in terms of technological skill.

Of course, I question the intellect of anyone who would engage in such behavior with underage children much less with policemen posing as underage children. When this behavior is discussed with them they always say the same thing. They say "I didn't know it was a cop" and report they would not have engaged in the behavior if they knew it was a cop. No, they would have just engaged in the behavior with underage children.

These parole violations potentially edge them closer to meeting statutory criteria. First, they can't or don't cooperate with supervision (parole). Second, they violate the rules of parole. Third, clearly they are back in their "offending cycle" even though they have not actually put their hands on any child yet. It is interesting to note that many of these men were attempting to set up "meets" with the young female children. In some cases, they did set up "meets" with indiviudals they believed to be young female children and were surprised that they had scheduled a "meet" with a big, middle aged, male, cop. Must have been disappointing. Some of the police I know are quite attractive, but others are less than attractive.

Some of these parole violators will still not meet statutory criteria simply because they did not put their hands on an underage child this time. What I am wondering is where are the Feds? This business of setting up "meets" with children as far away as Florida and Texas should violate some Federal law--at least I think it should. Florida and Texas parents were really complaining and complaining loudly! At any rate, there seems to be an increasing problem with predatory exhibitionism by cell phone.

PRIVACY FENCE

Got the application from the city for the privacy fence. First thing that had to be done was get permission from the people next door to remove their fence and have the privacy fence put up between their yard and ours. He agreed, but appeared as grief stricken as Eric.

This privacy fence will add value to their house as well as ours. I'm planning to have an attractive fence installed by professional fence installers. But, apparently both Eric and the neighbor feels it will potentially build a wall between them. I don't understand this because if I had my way, I'd live in a house with a 3 foot deep, 15 foot high stone wall all the way around the house and it would be electrified. I like the neighbors a lot, but I want to be able to get out in my back yard without everybody being able to see me. The only thing I've truly hated about living in this house was the now defunct law forbidding privacy fences.

So, I'm sad about his feelings. He and Eric are good friends and I support the friendship.

Drove all the way to Shawnee today. Long trip down in southern farm land. The land literally changes as one approaches the Shawnee National Forest (which is quite beautiful). I always feel as though I'm going home because it's down in the neck of the woods where I grew up and the land reminds me of home. It's heavily forested, with rolling hills (sometimes very high jagged hills) and there are lots of big rocks jutting out. Really lovely landscape. I love the verdant green and the mossy smell. I've never cared for exceeding flat landscapes.

It was a long trip. I needed to be out the door by 6:30 and had to drive 3 hours. Then, I did a four hour assessment and drove three hours home.

The guy doesn't consider himself a child molester. He considers himself a sex offender because he broke the law. But, he does not consider 13 and 14 year old girls children. He has a strange mind set and sort of reminds me of those FLDS guys who marry 13 and 14 year old girls. Fortunately, the law recognizes people 17 and under as children.

AAA

Went to Mt. Sterling to evaluate a multiple time rapist of adult women. Minor little addition was that he committed murder. Turned out to be one of the most pleasant inmates I've met. Murderers often are. It's very strange. One of the things an evaluator has to do is to see through the mask people wear and to the behavior that lies beneath the mask. Fortunately, over the years, I've become very good at seeing through the masks and roles people cloak themselves in. Masks and roles are meaningless covers, behavior matters.

Anyway, I eventually got home alive. I left Mt. Sterling at about 1 pm and should have been home by 5 pm. I drove back to Quincy and crossed the big bridge. Pulled into a BP to buy some gas station coffee. I pulled out of the gas station and didn't even make it to 35 MPH before the front passenger tire blew. Thankfully, I was going slow because the car jerked and ran off the road to the right. It was one of those busy interstates where cars and big 18 wheelers fly by at 70 plus miles an hour even though the speed limit is 60 MPH. For a long time, no one stopped so I called the police for help. This was after I tried for quite some time to get the lug nuts loose. They'd been put on by the tire place with one of those big air hammers. They wouldn't budge. I also called the police because I don't feel particularly comfortable with strangers along side the roadway. Finally, a lady with her two teenage sons stopped. They couldn't get the lug nuts loose either. The kids were scared half to death by the big trucks whizzing by at high speed. Finally, the lady had to leave because she had to do the weekly exchange of the boys with her ex-husband. The police called about 12 times because they couldn't find me. Thank God for cell phones and 911. About 20 minutes later, an older gentleman and his adult son (driving an 18 wheeler) stopped. They managed to loosen the lug nuts. The police arrived.

Older trucker mentioned that all four tires looked relatively new and in very good shape with lots of tread and even wear. As he got the tire off, he called the officer over and mentioned that this was a peculiar puncture. Officer went to exame the tire and asked me where I drive it and park it. I told him I park it in my driveway, at prisons and in nice hotel parking lots and that I drive on good roads. Truth is that I actively avoid situations were there is construction or accident debris. The tires on this car cost a small fortune. His response was "Well either this was a badly defective new tire when you bought it or somebody wants rid of you" I told him that multiple people want rid of me, but that I had not had a direct threat for nearly 2 years. He showed me the place where the tire blew. It looked like an exit wound from a bullet. But, there was no entrance wound.

So, I went to the closest tire store (which took a while because I had to drive 35 MPH on the donut). The closest tire store was a WalMart. Remember, I was out in the boondocks. It took them more than four hours to get the tire needed for the Spyder and they had to have it trucked in from St. Louis. But, they eventually got a tire, replaced my donut and I got home at 9:30 pm.

Today, I purchased AAA. I hated having to call 911 for help and to depend on the kindness of strangers. Cops have other things to do. Pleasant cop, pleasant trucker, pleasant lady, unpleasant day.

FINALLY HOME

I spent the last week in Fort Worth. I'm home finally. The airports were not bad at all. My bag arrived with the plane both in Ft. Worth and St. Louis. It had been searched when I arrived in Ft. Worth and nothing at been replaced in any semblance of order. Wrinkles everywhere!!!

I'm very happy to be home to the quiet, peace and order. But, I did get to see my grandchildren and the dogs. The grandchildren are incredibly beautiful and the dogs are wonderful. I fell in love with the Corgi and the Jack Russel the first time I ever met them--years ago. And, of course, I love my son beyond all reason and measure. I'm incredibly proud of him! His wife is significantly improved medically and that is a good thing. Hopefully, she'll be able to return to work within the next few months. I did several loads of laundry and repeatedly picked up a lot of toys. There are so many toys it looks like a toy store. The box Eric shipped before I left finally arrived on Monday. I wish I could have been more helpful. I was willing to be a lot more helpful.

Home is very peaceful and I love its peace. Eric and I both love peace in her lives and quiet in our home. I went to City Hall and picked up an application for a privacy fence. The city recently changed the law and now we are permitted to have privacy fences. The only thing I did not like about living here was the lack of a privacy fence. I'm planning to have one put in this summer. I hate being on view to every neighbor every time I venture into the back yard. As a result, I don't work on the back yard much and never use it. Once the privacy fence is in, I hope to start working on the back yard and actually using it.

It will be good exercise and will give me something genuinely positive to do that will add to the value of the house.

TRAVELING

Tomorrow morning, I'm having Eric drop me at the airport before he heads to work. I'm flying to Dallas to see Dean, Cassie and hopefully provide a little help to my son. Eric shipped a "Grandma box" yesterday.

In the olden days, I loved to fly. I don't like flying anymore. But, I'm relatively good at it. I have Eric drop me off wearing little cloth slip-on bedroom slippers. That way I can avoid having to remove my shoes and walk around barefoot where the good Lord alone knows who has walked barefoot.

I'm taking only one bag. Normally, I take a bag that has all my grooming supplies in it and a bag with my clothes. Without doubt I'll have to do laundry before I can come home. I am optimistically (hoping) they don't lose my bag again. Usually, they lose my bag. Since they are now charging $15.00 to $25.00 extra for each bag, I'm only taking the one bag. I wonder if I can get the $15.00 or $25.00 back if they lose my bag again. The audacity of passengers to expect to take a change of clothing with them on a week long trip. I've stuffed all my medicines in my purse. Truth is that I would die (literally) without my meds and I can't trust them not to lose the suitcase. The few pieces of costume jewelry I'm taking will go in the purse also. I can't trust them not to steal the few pieces of costume jewelry.

I don't wear the jewelry to the airport. It sets the metal detectors off and then I'll be patted down. When possible, I prefer to avoid being frisked by strangers. Last time, I was required to remove my big sun hat and my sunglasses. I know, I look exactly like a terrorist. Overweight, middle-aged (closing in on elderly), freckled, peaches and cream, strawberry blonde/grey haired, green eyed woman who looks for all the world like an old Irish woman. Maybe they think I'm a representative of the IRA. I thought the IRA was now defunct.

Can any of you remember when we looked forward to flying. We dressed up. We could take a coffee or soda on board. We had legroom. We were served peanuts. Horror of horrors, we could smoke in flight. It used to be an occassion--the trip alone used to be a celebration. Now, the tension is so high it feels as though one is crossing Checkpoint Charlie illegally. For you young folks, Checkpoint Charlie is a checkpoint where lots of people crossed during the Cold War. It was featured in a lot of old movies and novels.

Now, every airplane flight is dreaded. Late departures, late arrivals, cancelled flights, no legroom and TSA officials who do their best to imitate the Gestapo or KGB.

But, grandmother's will endure most anything to see their grandchildren. So, I'm getting on that plane in spite of the degradation and humiliation. And, I will see Ephram Paul and Gideon Michael for a week. Hopefully, I'll be able to provide a little help to my son.

CHECKING

I have a symptom of a psychological disorder. Actually, I probably have several, but this one can be bothersome at times. Recently, my "checking" compulsion has kicked into high gear. This "checking" behavior has been a problem for years and years, but in recent years it had more or less calmed down. It decreased when I quit my last job and got my new job. My old job was a 24-7-365 experience of impending doom. "Checking" is one symptom of a specific anxiety disorder.



But, with Dakota fighting her second battle with cancer, Eric's sister (Ann) being in ICU for nearly a month in respiratory failure followed by respitatory distress, and now with Cassie having suffered a stroke---it's back. Now, the first thing I do in the morning when I wake is carefully check every living creature in the house to make sure they are still alive. Jake, our 16 year old dog, was quite surprised and somewhat annoyed when I woke him to make sure he was alive this morning. He was stretched out asleep on his bed and he had carefully swaddled himself in his king sized blanket. The look he gave me was "What's wrong with you--I'm sleeping in". Given what has been going on in our family, I'm having somewhat irrational fears of impending doom for those I love. Poor Eric cannot spend any length of time in the bathroom without being "checked".



This compulsion, while annoying, has not been debilitating in my life. Although, I will admit that I have more than once (actually, many many times) turned around and returned home after 40 miles of driving just to check to see if I had turned the iron off. I solved that problem by not ironing. I don't even know where the iron is. Dry cleaning bills increased, but gas expenditures decreased. Plus, I usually purchase clothing that never needs an iron as long as I take it out of the dryer immediately or before the cycle truly ends. I try always to leave early for appointments to build in time to turn around and come back if need be. Stopping ironing did not rid me of the "checking" behavior. Worry about the iron was replaced with worry about something else. There are rituals that go along with this disorder. For example, before I leave the house all the ashtrays must be placed in the sink. Normal people consider this behavior somewhat odd.



I am not plagued with full blown obsessive-compulsive disorder. I am not "Monk" or "Columbo" although I can probably be as annoying to other people. In many ways, the trait can be a strength given what I do for a living. I'm almost invariably early for work and court dates. I over prepare beyond anything that any relatively normal person can image for court dates. Recently, I met two Assistant Attorney Generals to do court prep for a trial and one of them asked me a question that he expected to be asked of me during trial. After about a 1/2 hour answer, he said "OK, just in the interest of time tonight let us go to the next question". It was clear to both of them that I was completely over prepared. One of them said to do exactly what I was doing on the stand because the jury had not heard this information previously and needed to hear it. The two lawyers had worked the case as long as I had and knew the details well. The purpose of court prep is to make sure the witness is prepared and ready to go. I doubt they have any idea of the endless hours I'd put in on that case before we ever got to court prep. I know my tendency to over prepare is profoundly irritating to the other side in court.



When I'm doing an assessment, preparing the investigative part, preparing for case consultation and I discover there is missing evidence--------I can be very annoying until I get that evidence. I've never understood the propensity of law enforcement to lose evidence-------not even in 30 year old cases. I was quite prepared to board a plane (at my own expense) to fly to Omaha and drag some poor old cop out of a nursing home because I couldn't understand what happened in a 30 year old case. The man was not tried for his part in the abduction and brutal gang rape of two teenage girls. I was quite prepared to go find out why all those charges were dropped. There was more than enough evidence to convict the man. Fortunately, my boss intervened and the Attorney General sent one of their investigators to get the information. Sometimes, I have to trust other people and that is very hard.

Sometimes, it is not just that 30 year old evidence disappears. At times, records are lost, old cops die, victims are lost to time and the mobility of American culture. I don't deal well with "No" when those things happen. And, I am quite sure that the investigators for the Attorney General collectively groan when they find out I've been assigned a case. I can be a persistant, determined, tenacious woman. Some people call it pushy.

It's not just an issue of "winning" although "winning" is nice. It's an issue of somebody, somewhere has got to speak for those victims.